Pudding Is Delicious

by Illbotz

  • Streaming + Download

    From the people who brought you "Nothing Rhymes With Engine," "Illbotz 2: Electric Boogaloo," "Ringtones For Rotary Phones," "Paul's Boutique," "Fear Of A Black Planet," "Let It Be," "Let It Be...Naked," "Shaq Fu: Da Return," "Michael McDonald's Crunk Classics," "Tag Team's Greatest Hit," and "The Clueless Soundtrack," Illbotz present their latest and greatest album: "Pudding Is Delicious!" This album will make you laugh, cry, smile, frown, gasp, fart, sneeze, snart, shart, question your sexuality, call in to work, buy a hula hoop, sign up for hula hoop lessons, forget to go to hula hoop lessons, believe in dinosaurs, and want eggrolls and pudding at the same time! It's that good! It also has some songs and skits and stuff on it.

    On February 1, 2011, Illbotz released their latest and greatest album, "Pudding Is Delicious!" It was recorded with Poe Mack in Salem, VA and was fueled creatively by massive amounts of pudding, PBR, and hours of listening to Kris Kross and The Smiths. It includes "Give A Little Love," which was recently featured on the nerdcore compilation, "Nerdcore Now Volume 1." It also includes such fine hip hop gems as "Your iPod Sucks," "Throw Me An Eggroll," and "The Power Glove (Lucas' Theme)." Illbotz also had a lot of fun singing on this record. There's a gospel song entitled "Jesus Gave Me Water (But What I Wanted Was A PBR)" as well as a Beach Boys style song called "Zombie Girl," an acoustic song and a punk song. They're extremely talented and good at everything they do so they do stuff. This album will prove to go down in history as one of the greatest things ever to exist ever. It will one day become just important as the light bulb, the cotton gin, or the slap bracelet.
    ... more

      $5 USD


  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Buy the CD and get all the fancy shmancy artwork and superdef liner notes and whatnots!!

    Also includes immediate download of 24-track album in your choice of 320k mp3, FLAC, or just about any other format you could possibly desire.
    ships out within 7 days

      $8 USD


  • T-Shirt/Apparel + Digital Album

    Buy the fresh new Illbotz T-shirt designed by Brian Dees and get the digital download of "Pudding Is Delicious" with it! Or get the classic "Hungry Hungry Hippos" T-shirt! This shirt has "Illbotz" on the front and "1997 National Hungry Hungry Hippos Champions" on the back. Now that's a deal!

    Includes immediate download of 24-track album in your choice of 320k mp3, FLAC, or just about any other format you could possibly desire.
    ships out within 7 days

      $15 USD


  • Geez Louise on a piece of cheese! This is for the superfan! And hopefully, everyone is a superfan! Get the brand new Illbotz T-shirt designed by Brian Dees or the classic "Hungry Hungry Hippos" T-shirt, the "Pudding Is Delicious" CD so you can get all the fancy shmancy artwork and whatnots, and get a digital download of the album as well! Hell, I'll even throw in some Illbotz stickers that you can put on your car, your toilet, or your forehead! This is the deal of the year, decade, and score!

    Includes immediate download of 24-track album in your choice of 320k mp3, FLAC, or just about any other format you could possibly desire.
    ships out within 7 days

      $18 USD




"Exceptional variety and quality keep all 24 tracks engaging." - Corbie Hill, Option Magazine

"The boys' best album to date, not to mention one of my new personal faves." - Z, Hipster, Please!

"I cannot count how many times i bust out in laughter listening to it, man. This is pure GENIUS!!" - John Hex Carter, Nerdy Show & Nerdapalooza Founder

"Roanoke’s rap comedy legends are back with what could be their greatest release to date." - Sean Poff, Scenic Recovery

"A hilarious return to form." - Tad Dickens, Roanoke Times

"If you’re a fan of intelligent silliness, this album is for you." - Chad Walker, Fandomania

"Even if it was just nerdy, Pudding is Delicious would still be an excellent Hip-Hop record, as Stevie D can open up like Roadblock’s .50 caliber and Samson puts together some great beats." - Michael Melchor, Count3rCu1ture.com


released February 1, 2011

Produced by Poe Mack
Co-produced by Stevie D
Coco is Ice-T’s wife

Made in the year of our Lloyd 2011

All songs written quickly and performed poorly by Illbotz

Produced/ mixed by Poe Mack of Truenoke Music & Stevie D

Def artwork and fresh layout by Eli Bishop (www.flickr.com/photos/wiretapstudios)

Illbotz be:

Stevie D – Halfway decent mic skills, beats, kazoo, etch-a-sketch, power glove
Big Perm – Better than most mic skills, guitar, 40 dogs, Ke$ha tattoo
DJ Samson – Scratching/ mixing skills, beats, Frogger, glass eye

Dope beats provided by: Poe Mack (Track 23), Poe Mack & Stevie D (Track 12,22), Chris Prythm & Ill-it Beatz (Tracks 3,5,6,10,14,19)

Stupid, crazy thanks to: Brandy Davies, Poe Mack, Sarah G, Marshall Hicks, TJ Jessee, Alex Tyree (The Best Robot Ever!), Tad Dickens & The Roanoke Times, Jamie Booker & The Bazaar, Jason Garnett & Keri Sink & The Shadowbox, RoanokeRevolution.com, Sean Poff & ScenicRecovery.wordpress.com, Z & HipsterPlease.com, NerdcoreNow.com, Chris Prythm, Brian Dees, Greg & Press Press Merch, Sequoya, Joy In Red, Doug Cheatwood & The Bastards Of Fate, Joneski, Nancy & 2 Meteors, CBZL, Craptain Jack & The Schmees, Soul Elements, The ThoughtCriminals, Eternal Summers, Young Sinclairs, The Blind Photographers, The Situationist, Grass Monkey, Circus Practice, Chimney Sweep Records, Kent Moore, David Conner, Keith Brydie, Camellia Delk, Cory Greer, Lisa Davies, Mandy Melvin, Cristina Land, Ben Jones, Barry & Awful Arthur’s, Martin’s, The Village Grill, The Blues BBQ Co., Chuck D, LL Cool J, pudding, everyone who wears dinosaur hats at our shows, and most importantly PBR!!


Email: Illbotz@gmail.com



all rights reserved


Illbotz Roanoke, Virginia

Illbotz are a comedy/ hip-hop/ acoustic group from Roanoke, VA who have been making music, touring, and telling terrible jokes since 2004. They've released 5 albums including their newest "Pudding Is Delicious." Illbotz are known for their high-energy and hilarious live shows. They have shared the stage with Slick Rick, Bubba Sparxxx, Captured! By Robots, and many more! Love them! ... more

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Track Name: Fair Eastside (Intro)
Fair eastside

Fair eastside, Fair eastside
By thy side we'll stand and always praise thy name
Praise thy name, praise thy name
To heaven, yeah
So cheer for dear old eastside high lead on to victory
Track Name: Illbotz Rock The Spot And Go Crazy
Illbotz Rock The Spot And Go Crazy

Oh, it feels so good
It feels so good to be back in this muthafucka 4 truth
Aww shit, this is gonna be better than Cool as Ice 2, Short Circuit 3, Flintstones meet the Silver Hawks, Centurions…all that shit, all that, all that, all that! Come on, come on!

Illbotz rock the spot and go crazy!
Illbotz rock the spot and go CRAZY! (Crowd)

Stevie D Verse:
Comin’ out the Darkness like Justin Hawkins
Rockin’ wit a little back talkin’, squawkin’
Shockin’ like findin’ out that Prince is a guy
And Caw Aaw is what it sounds like when doves cry
Black ya eye, jack ya for ya raspberry vinaigrette
Smash fax machines like I was workin’ for Initech
I can’t afford Adidas so I rock mad Crocs
Illbotz muthafucka – still the best that ever did it
Drop the shittiest shit ever – Can you smell it? Cause I shitted
Admit it – Stevie D, Perm, and Samson
Keep the party gigglin’ like Ernest when he’s campin’
Now throw ya hands up in the muthafuckin’ sky
Holla 3.14! You know that shit’s pi!
Fly like an ostrich
Hold ya grandma hostage
Paid $3 for some cheesy fries cause that’s how much they cost bitch!


Y’all muthafuckas thought I was gonna leave out Big Perm? He’s the Grimace cookie of this shit. Illbotz is here forever muthafuckas!

Big Perm Verse:
Mama say mama saw mama cusaw
My mama say I rap too hard but mama I can’t stop
To the tick tock and you don’t stop, hit it
They say I ain’t no rapper cause I don’t wear a fitted
Ha ha ha, had to find that silly
Ripped jeans, overweight, girls still find me pretty
Ain’t it a pity, skinny guys envy
Nigga you know the game and yo bitch chose me
I’m the reason yo girlfriend loses so much sleep
Plus ya girl is easy like taking tests with cheat sheets
When will ya learn, you’ll never beat me bitch
I got the supercalifragilousanexpialidopeshit!

Shake ya belly meat, Perm shake ya belly meat
Shake ya belly meat, Sam shake ya belly meat
Shake ya belly meat, me…I got, I got no fuckin’ belly meat


Ya know what I’m sayin. You know you can buy the right legos and make a lego spaceship. You know what I’m sayin. That’s not the problem. You can go to Kay Bee and get the Legos. But if you don’t have the red lego spaceman to go with the lego spaceship, it just doesn’t work. It’s a fuckin’ travesty. It’s just fuckin’ stupid.

Track Name: Throw Me An Eggroll
Throw Me An Eggroll

D: Hey yo waddup big sperm
P: Chillin’ yo, just picked up some takeout from the Double Dragon
D: Oh word son, what’cha got? Some lo mein, some pu pu platter?
P: Nah, I got some of this new double dragon moo goo gai...
D: Throw Me An Eggroll!

Aww shit, you done tripped and fell all up in some niceness
I’m priceless, like Pee Wee Herman dolls, I make a nice gift
I’m iceless, never bought a rock that costed more than 3 dollas
All the baseheads in the house shout “holla”
Oochie Walla Walla, Oochie, Walla, Coochie I Bang
At night I’m drinkin' Dayquil and by day, I drink the night train
Insane just like a deaf man with earphones on
You Muthafuckas slip and feel my wrath like Khan
I’m the illest muthafuckin’ rhyme sayer on the planet
Some compare me to a God so they be screamin' “Steviedammit”
Understand it, I’m the one who got ya granny’s panties moist
Your favorite rappas, favorite rappas, favorite rappas favorite choice
Ahead of my time like Tron or any Air Supply record
Makin’ all the self conscious ugly girls get nekked
Ho just like Whodini, easy like e, so check the simile
Big time like Heavy D, diddily diddily diddily diddily
Sillily rhymin’ to the best of my ability
Smooth as milk, rockin’ the mic so top billingley
Mc’s is killin’ me but not like Chi-Ali
Step on my roos and I will take that shit personally

D: Whoo! What’d ya think of dat verse right dare boy??
P: Not too shitty yo!!
D: Off the dome too son! No pen no pad. What the fuck’s a pen?
P: Ahh…You Jay-z’ed it. I don’t know. I could’ve swore I...
D: Throw Me An Eggroll!

D back in the muthafuckin' cut once mo
I am the man which I know so you can call me Sloppy Joe
Everybody tunin' into me like I was a G chord
Makin’ girlies shake they tails til they fall off like Eeyore (Oh pooh!)
A wee more greater, Gleam the cube like Christian Slater
Not a gimmick, the most original thing since Darth Tater
Steal ya pack of now and laters and I fuck up ya fun dip
Crazy tasty red sugar on a candy stick
Got more game than McDonald’s Monopoly
You might get an Egg McMuffin but you’ll never get property
I fuck up a rappas’ knuckles, make em call me uncle
Round 2, yellin Jenga as your blocks straight tumble
Yo I’m the illest of the illest of ill
How can one rappa be so trill?
See more butts than Gene Simmons, I got 5 midget women
That wanna lay me like crazy. That’s 2 ½ grown ladies!

P: Nice verse brusk!
D: Thanks yo. Hey yo did you hear about the economic slump that Uganda’s goin’ through right now?
P: Yea I did! I just think they just need to get their resources together and focus on their exports...
D: Throw Me An Eggroll!

Da man wit the tan that’s little to none
I'm Stevie D, I feel so special like I just scored a hole in one
At Putt Putt then blessed wit a nice orange ball
Speakin’ of balls, I got the biggest fuckin’ balls of them all! (Bam!)
Who shot ya? (Biggie) nope, nope it was me
I’m blastin’ every single rapper til there remains only three
Yo! Me and Kool Moe Dee, and that one guy from M.O.P.
Who’ll probably end up killin’ me and Kool Moe Dee (Brownsville!)
Rappas comin’ at me wit they played out styles
They need to let em rest in peace with that guy who wrestled crocodiles (Krikey!)
Excuse my chillness, cause I know that shit was cold
Let me quit and bust some shit like I was 5 years old
I like cookies and milk (x3)
I summon you Pikachu! (Gyeah!)

D: Alright I’m done
P: I give that song like 3 mics
D: That shit was a classic - 5 mics Main Source - Breaking Atoms shit
P: More like Kris Kross - Young Rich and Dangerous
D: Fuck you
P: Fuck you
D: I killed it
P: You ruined it!
D: I shouldn’t’ve even got you on this track
P: I don’t give a fuck. I didn’t wanna come down here to Poe’s closet anyway. I just wanted to go to Hardees and get that new muthafuckin’ bologna biscuit…
D: Throw me an eggroll, throw me an eggroll, throw me a muthafuckin’ eggroll
P: I-ight, here, ya go…Damn.

Beef with broccoli, general tsao’s for me
Then ya add the egg roll and my gut is swole
Track Name: Dinosaur, Dinosaur
Dinosaur, Dinosaur

Yo, Stevie D back from out the clothes hamper! What’d you think I was gonna disappear like all those other comic rappers? Get a reality show on VH1 or some shit? Celebrity fit club or some shit. Shit yo, I’m skinny as a muthafucka! Still the biggest in this game though yo. Still the best! I’m a fuckin’ dinosaur in this bitch yo! People scared of me yo. I eat rappers for dinner, lunch, breakfast, brunch, brinner, leakfast, dunch.

Step on back bitches, better get on back bitches
I’m on the road up to the riches – hand the game on over – nicely
It’s Stevie the D bitches, sweet like a sweet tea bitches
Straight from the Mickey D’s bitches – How I drink dat? – icey
Still the illest bot bitches, suck on a tater tot bitches
Hot like my chicken sandwiches – How I like dem? – spicy
Still the best that ever did it, still the biggest, don’t forget it
Better scream when I’m comin’ like “Dinosaur, Dinosaur!”

Oh snap, look who’s bounced back up on the track
Big ups to Poe Mack - another dude who’s fat and black
(Hey, what the fuck you say bro?) Hey yo, I just said that
I only weigh a buck fitty but yo fitty of that is sack
Yea! And that’s nuts baby – big swollen nuts!
I sell my rhymes mad crazy cheap just like a little bag of Utz
Oh! Don’t give a fuck
Ned Flanders don’t give a heck
My little homie Baby Boo he took a pencil in his neck


Hey yo I probably won’t make it to 122
I’ll probably die from fuckin’ chickens that give me the bird flu
Beat rappas wit candlesticks like Colonel Mustard in Clue
Beat a cobbler for the Beatles, got an old brown shoe
Similar to John Lennon but hate peace and Asian women
I’m a writer like Mark Twain. (Hey yo, his name was Samuel Clemens!)
Word! Stevie D, Illbotz, and Trunoke
If you see me up on Facebook, gimme a poke! Ok!


Yea muthafuckas, it’s a Dinosaur, Dinosaur!
Damn, father suckers it’s a Dinosaur, Dinosaur!
Damn, rubber truckers, it’s a Dinosaur, Dinosaur!

Ahead of my time, on my grind since 89
Got the mic givin’ me goosebumps like R.L. Stine
On my grind like my teeth when I had TMJ
If you like it, then put a ring on it Beyonce
I don’t kid or play – don’t wear belts – my pants are fallin’
Play tetherball and throw spitballs, therefore I’m ballin’
Too hot to handle, too cold to boast ghosts
Def like Mos, and tell corny jokes like game show hosts
Stevie DVD like Chuck D bringin’ the noise in
Got skanks competin’ for me like that old dude from Poison
Bret Michaels, Ricky Rocket, CC, Bobby Dall
I know you bitches be impressed – I knew em all! Ha! Dinosaur!
It’s just a metaphor – Don’t know if it works
But I eat rappers for dinner and ice scream snickers for dessert – Word!

Track Name: Bot Life
Bot Life

Yea, I double L
Livin’ that fresh life, you know what I’m sayin’ (Word)
Fly ass whips (Dig), cars too (Feelin’ it)
Betamaxes in the headrest (I ain’t got one of those)
Expensive houses, teepees, wigwams (Uh-huh, uh-huh)
And puttin’ our grandmas in the freshest nursing homes
(Hardees every day!!!)

Payin’ child support to girls we got prego – yo this is bot life
Makin’ meth labs out of legos – yo this is bot life
Forever eatin’ seafood alfredo – yo this is bot life
The hot life – shit right – yo this is bot life

Everyday’s a stroll in the park – yo this is bot life
Fresh jheri curl wit a part – yo this is bot life
Forever Superman, never Clark – yo this is bot life
The hot life – fuck right – yo this is bot life

Perm Verse:
I’ma purify myself in Lake Minatonka
Buy 1000 ill slap bracelets because I wanta
I’m feelin great, I’m feelin tall as a tree
And if you think you’re taller than me nigga, pff…leaves
I’ma do what I want and ain’t nobody gonna stop me
I’ma eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner all at Hardees
I’ma sit down at home and watch porno all day
Who the hell am I kiddin? I was gonna do that anyway
So back the fuck up, and sit the fuck down
And shut the fuck up, cause I run this fuckin’ up
Well not really but in my mind I do
Because I stay wylin’ out sniffin’ all kindsa glue
So peep the ballistics and pass the chex mix
I know that’s your liquor drink but can I please have a sip
This bot life can get so damn hectic
My perm is big name dyslexic


Stevie D Verse:
I pull up in my ragtop Delorian
Flux capacitor in the back, let’s visit 1984 again
Got two heaters – one to warm up my toesees
One kept up under the seat so I can blast on my foesees
That’s how I rollsees, pocket full of gwaps
Got all my Jewish friends stuntin’ wit some pockets full of tops
Fuck the cops, they in my pocket like nickels
Bought the fuckin’ FDA and made ‘em outlaw pickles
From the time I wake up til the time I sleep, I make it ra-ai-ai-ai-ain
And sniff up lots of ca-ai-ai-ai-ain, while watchin’ Major Pay-ay-ay-ay-ane
I’m so insa-a-a-a-ane, givin’ more gifts than Santa
Spendin’ money like rich parents do on Hanna Montana
In Atlanta, at the clubs, throwin’ saving bonds at scrippers
Got our own booth at Denny’s - we 25% tippers!
Pussycat Dolls fed me and Perm like 80 grapes
Haterz get mad cause I got me some bathin’ apes


Stevie D Verse 2:
How many bitches wanna get this knot
All these busta bitches screamin’ Aww damn that’s a knot
I got a knot yo, a big knot yo
Gonna buy some fuckin’ nachos wit my knot yo
Just watch yo, got the biggest damn knot in the LBC
It’s the I double L B-O-T-Z
We got fat knots
You got no knots
Wish you had two knots
But you do not
Ha ha ha
Got so many knots, much more knots than you
I’ll buy up Disneyland and Disneyworld and Euro Disney too
That cost mad knots
Not sure how many knots
But it’s a lotta knots
At least six knots
Tik Tok is a song by Ke$ha and you know that it’s true
I got more knots than ya fuckin’ Roos shoelaces do
We got plus knots
You got nil knots
Yo and we’re the Illbotz
We…we, we got knots

Track Name: Your iPod Sucks
Your iPod Sucks

My I Pod
Makes me a musical God
I got lists that’ll make ya stand up and applaud
My ipod’s fresher than the freshest salad - Yes Sir
Like an Olive Garden salad - cause there ain’t none fresher
My ipod - straight Jay-Z blueprint
Yo ipod - Jay-Z blueprint edited
My ipod - Black Flag and Slayer
Yo ipod - Jason Mraz and John Mayer
My ipod - Chess, Blue Note, and Stax
Yo ipod - Creed, Trapt, and Nickelback
My iPod - Elliott Smith and Patti Smith
Yo iPod - Aerosmith

My ipod got a million gigabytes
Of the illest damn shit ya ever heard in ya life
My taste is exquisite, yo taste is yuck
My ipod rules, your ipod sucks

You rollin’ with 3 gigs, I got a thousandy hundred
I got Tom Waits songs that he ain’t even done yet
You a pophead common ass product of the system
I’m indie as fuck! I even got a beard! Listen!
I dis ya group if you got more than 25 fans
I bet you don’t know shit about the following bands
What you know about? Panda Milk Situation
What you know about? Card Catalog Nation
What you know about? Tank Tops In Traffic
What you know about? The Orlando Bloom Magic

My ipod got 30,000 and some
Yo - Of the freshest butter tracks that make you feel like a crumb
Wit yo ipod – cause your taste is yuck
My ipod rules, your ipod sucks

If your ipod was an alien, I’d get that shit deported
My cell phone rang, it was your ipod, I ignored it
If your ipod was on facebook, I’d deny it's friend request
And if your ipod wants to dance, I’d punch in it’s bitch neck
My ipod - can benchpress 350
Yo ipod - is a pansy/ sissy
My ipod - is so raven
Yo ipod - not so very raven

My ipod make ya say oh snap!
How the hell you get so much flava on that?
My taste is exquisite, yo taste is yuck
My ipod rules, your ipod sucks

I’m frontin’ on ya ipod cause ya ipod is wack son
You got “when doves cry” and put it under Michael Jackson
My ipod - the clash, your ipod - johnny cash
(well, that’s pretty good actually - I like johnny cash - he’s good)
My ipod - 73 Stevie Wonder
Yo ipod - 83 Stevie Wonder
Yo! I hate your ipod like Big Perm hates hair
And if your ipod was pregnant, then I’d push it down the stairs
I got covers for every album and everything spelled correct
My ipod’s like an ipod - yours is like a cassette
Ya got Death Cab for Cutie but you don’t have "Plans"
Yo and you don’t know shit about the following bands
What you know about? The Beatrix Pottery
What you know about? Unclogged Arteries
What you know about? The Fuck Shit Bitches
What you know about? Yum! Pudding Is Delicious

My ipod make ya say aww damn!
How you got so much flava in the palm of your hand?
Cuz my taste is exquisite, yo taste is yuck
My ipod rules, your ipod sucks

My ipod
My ipod

My ipod - filled with Illbotz tunes
Yo ipod is a zune!
Track Name: Babybot

Yea. I'm a take a little time out here and get real sexy for a second so get comfortable

Oh-ho Baby! Babybot Babybot
You make me crazy! Babybot Babybot
You often lay me! Babybot Babybot
Whoa-ho Baby! Babybot Babybot

Whoa-ho Honey! Babybot Babybot
You’re so damn money! Babybot Babybot
You love this dummy! Babybot Babybot
Whoa-ho Honey! Babybot Babybot

Yo, I remember when I first met ya
And now I get ta – be wit you forever like Bill Cosby and a sweater
Perfect together like some deodorant and armpits
From the time I’m dirty thirty til' I’m a hundred and some shit
You got me feelin’ like these feelins are the feelins to be felt
Yo! Word to the girl from Elf but I’m not sittin’ on the shelf
Like my fingers in the socket cause I’m constantly glowin’
And yo! You can call me Daddy like a Sylvia Plath poem
I’m knowin’ you plus me equals us like calculus
Like my little golden compass – gonna lead me to the dust
Make me shine like a crocodile smile wit a grill on it
Brighter than a white tee wit a kool aid spill on it
You da bomb like some old 90’s Kris Kross slang
Me without you couldn’t exist like Twilight vampire fangs
My Lovebug Starski - sit down and have a sip or two
Prepare to have ya mind blown as I sing some sexy shit for you

Oh-ho baby! Babybot Babybot
Born in the 80’s! Babybot Babybot
You are a lady! Babybot Babybot!
Whoa-ho baby! Babybot Babybot

Whoa-ho sweetie! Babybot Babybot
You say you need me! Babybot Babybot
You eat yo Wheaties! Babybot Babybot
Whoa-ho sweetie! Babybot Babybot

You’re more hot than a boilin pot sittin on a lava rock
Up inside a ghetto block surrounded by gun shots
Hotter than a thousand suns on the grill with texas pete
It’s neat that I think you’re swell and it’s swell that I think you’re neat
Yo! Our love is correct like Pauly D’s hair on Jersey shore
And you always give me kisses even when my mouth got sores
Hey yo! Four Minus Two – That’s two, that’s me and you
Got me singin’ like the wonders when you do that thing you do
And I love you like white trash loves walmart and layaway
More than emo kids love Jared Leto and razor blades
I’m buggin’ like roaches yo when you give me ya hand to hold
Kisses more delicious than a tight spicy salmon roll
Ya hold me and rub my back after I cry from watchin’ Avatar
Don’t splash water on the floor cause that is what the cat is for
My Lovebug Starski – sit down and have a sip or two
Prepare to have ya mind blown as I sing some sexy shit for you

Oh-ho Baby! Babybot Babybot
You are a Davies! Babybot Babybot
You don’t have scabies! Babybot Babybot
Whoa-ho Baby! Babybot Babybot

Whoa-ho Darling! Babybot Babybot
You are so charming! Babybot Babybot
You got a garden! Babybot Babybot
Oh-ho Darling! Babybot Babybot

Thank you! Thank you very much ladies and gentlemen! Thank you, thank you
You coulda been anywhere in the world tonight but you're here wit me
I appreciate that, yea
No, I learned to sing all on my own – no classical training
You know what I'm sayin – I just listen to a lot of Biz Markie, that's all, you know what I'm sayin
Thank you, thank you
Tip your bartenders now – Don’t feed the dinosaur – haha – good night!
Track Name: Zombie Girl
Zombie Girl

This is another story about girls
For a girl who doesn't give brains but eats them instead is a zombie
So say Illbotz
Sing it fellas

Little zombie, little one
Your mouth’s full of intestines
Do you love me? Do you zombie girl?
Zombie girl, my little zombie girl

I eat biscuits, you eat brains
Your GWAR shirt has real blood stains
Do you love me? Do you zombie girl?
Zombie girl, zombie girl

I can see our beautiful undead future
Bloodsoaked towels - hers and his
I could say my heart is in your hands, cause the truth is that it is, oh gee wiz

Now I’m dying, turning blue
I tell you that I love you and you say “Uhhhh”
Do you love me? Do you zombie girl?
Zombie girl, my little zombie girl
Girl, zombie girl, my little zombie girl
Girl, zombie girl, my little zombie girl
Girl, zombie girl, my little zombie girl
Track Name: The Power Glove (Lucas' Theme)
The Power Glove (Lucas' Theme)

Yo this right here is Lucas, you know what I'm sayin'
King of the NES so fresh, you know I'd never settle for anything less
Best of this Nintendo shit, you know what I'm sayin'
And this right here is my story - yea - so check it!

Yo, my name is Lucas, I'm the don of this shit
Ain't a punk fucker out there that I ain't whipped
At any video game -- I stun bitches wit my radness
Only kid on my block to ever beat Marble Madness
Been the best at NES yo since the age of 11
You wanna battle, pick a game, I got all 97
It ain't no secret how I freak it when I beat these scrubs
Take a look at my right hand, man I'm in love with the power glove

I got the power glove
This is dedicated to my best friend the power glove
It's so bad
I love
The power glove

Now everybody sing, everybody sing, come on:

Lodi Da Da Da Da Da
Wodi Odo Dodi Do
Lodi Da Da Da Da Da
Wodi O Wodi Odi Odi O Yeah!

Now one day when I was chillin' yo, these kids came over braggin'
How they boy got a measly 50 thou on Double Dragon
Said he was hittin' LA for Video Armageddon
Tryin' to get me nervous -- Yo, you'll never catch Lucas sweatin'!
They was callin' him the Wizard -- more like time waster
I reached into my games and pulled out Rad Racer
Pulled out the power glove -- showed him skills he never had
I said "I love the power glove! It's so bad!"
I said I'm winnin' that fuckin' competition man, I'll warn ya
Only thing the kid could say back was "California"
His girl was lookin' hot, I'd put my power glove on that
Looks like she'd rise up with fists though, so I'll move back
I'll catch a nap, eat a snack, play some TMNT
Beat Mecha-Turtle's ass at the end of level three
It's just me, it's Lucas, fly like a dove
Take that, move back, catch a heart attack, bitch I got the power glove!


So The Wizard disappeared and never bothered to holla
I took my ass to LA to win that 50 thousand dollas
At Video Armageddon -- all them fools was gettin' wrecked
Had my Vision Street Wear on and I was lookin' correct
In full effect, and my game-playin' couldn't be dissed
Sat back and waited for the announcer to read the three finalists
It was me Lucas, of course, and this pig-tailed miss
And then the third contestant -- what the fuck is this?
It was that fuckin' wizard kid aka Jimmy Woods
He can't say but one word, yo how the fuck is he so good!
A retard, an ugly nerdy lookin' bitch and me
The crowd gasped when we had to play Super Mario 3
I was smokin' them fools til Jimmy found a warp zone
Then of course the game was his and me, the king, was dethroned
The crowd went nuts and gave that little retard hugs
But it would've been me gettin' the love if I'd got the power glove!

I got the power glove
This is dedicated to my main man the power glove
What is it a blizzard?
Not at all
It's the power glove

Now everybody sing, everybody sing, come on:

Lodi Da Da Da Da Da
Wodi Odo Dodi Do
Lodi Da Da Da Da Da
Wodi O Wodi Odi Odi O Yeah!

I love the fuckin' power glove
It's so bad
I love this song about the power glove
It's so bad
Not bad meanin' bad but bad meanin good
You know what I'm sayin'
This is Lucas
Original Nintendo bad boy
Signin' off
Track Name: Can I Put It On A Sandwich?
Can I Put It On A Sandwich?

Hey yo Perm check out that girl with the big FAT tail
That butt is a butt
Yea son, I wanna put that muthafucka on a sandwich

Girl your booty’s butter - can I put it on a sandwich?
Girl that ass is jelly - better put it on a sandwich
Girl that butt is meaty - can I put it on a sandwich?
Girl that rump is yummy - better put it on a sandwich

Stevie D Verse:
I see your seein’ what I’m seein’ and I’m seein’ and believin’ that everyone with eyes are seein’ need to be seein’ ya butt
Looks like that ass was finely crafted by an angel and he presented it to the Lord yo and the lord was like what?
Booty so plump, I bet it don’t take dumps
It drops pop tarts
Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop tarts!
I like the way ya milk shakes and never curdles
Like it was painted by Leonardo or them other Ninja Turtles
Ain’t got no time to be stressin’, I’m just addressin’ the question, hope you say yes and can I please get some dressing with that rump?
And can I get you to my mommas, I’d be honored if you join me in the bedroom but I get the top bunk!
Yo! Don’t fake the funk girl you’re sittin’ on a goldmine
Like you a half a game of golf cause you the whole 9
I think it’s time that you break me off a piece of that buttcake
Brown Sugar Cinnamon buttcake!
That ass is so delicious
So hot and cool and vicious
Like Salt N’ Pepa – those are 2 spices that are delicious
If you would be my missis
I’d even do the dishes
After you break me off with so many sandwiches!


Big Perm Verse:
B-b-b-baby your booty’s bangin’, I mean it for real shorty
We can get it in, so let me in for some hot coffee
Ya lookin’ like you’re smugglin’ bean bag chairs
Like you’re no stranger to a Krispy Kreme, hell (yea)
So let me get down, down to the sitch
If there’s a market for booty blubber, then baby you’d be rich
The way it’s jigglin’ make Mr. Huxtable proud
And when you’re jumpin’ up and down, it always sounds like a crowd
If ya ass was a wrestler, it’d be Butt Butt Bigalo
So drop ya butt low and clean the flo like it’s Mop and Glo
Ya hiney’s so big that it reminds me of a jeep
And you’re the opposite of Wendy’s cause I know where’s the beef
So let me a get a handful of that rumproast baby
I know it’s gonna be good but ya gotta work for that gravy
Girl your ass is fat, can I put it on a sandwich?
It’s lookin’ little sloppy, can I put it on a Manwich?
Trust me baby, I’m a booty connoisseur
Just like a bistro, you’re the booty du jour
I’m sorry, didn’t mean to talk so high class
So let me dumb it down for ya, gimme some of that ass (Yeah!)


Back it up, let me put it on some wonder bread (x3)
I guess that’s why they call it wonder bread


Hey yo Perm
I think we might've just ripped off "Baby Got Back"
(I think you're right)
Oh well, fuck it, it's hot
Track Name: Stupid Lazy Eye (Get Off The Couch)
Stupid Lazy Eye (Get Off The Couch)

Lazy eye, get off the couch! (x3)
We work for money in this house
Lazy eye, get off the couch! (x3)
I’ll smack you in your retina mouth!

All you ever do is sit around and drink Visine
You always steal my monocle, now give it back to me
Get up and get a job at Lens Crafters or Ray Ban
Stupid lazy eye, get off the couch now while you can!
Track Name: Marshall (The Friendliest Punk In Town)
Marshall (The Friendliest Punk in Town)

Well I got a friend named Marshall and he screams and yells real loud
Yea, He is Marshall, he is Marshall
But he never spits and hocks disgusting loogies on the crowd
No, He is Marshall, he is Marshall

He’ll kick you in the face but he’ll never kick you in the back
No, He is Marshall, he is Marshall
He’ll borrow your GBH records but he won’t sell them for crack
No, He is Marshall, he is Marshall

If you fall down in the pit, he’ll pick you up
He’ll support your band even if they suck
He likes the Misfits but he also likes Bread
He’s got a lotta curly hairs up on his head

He’s Marshall, Marshall – The Friendliest Punk in Town (x2)

Well, he's got a body that's completely covered in tattoos
Yea, He is Marshall, he is Marshall
Only bad thing is they're all tattoos from Blues Clues
Yea, He is Marshall, he is Marshall

Before he robs a liquor store, he’ll ask you if you need anything
He is Marshall, he is Marshall
And once a week he even takes a bath with Irish Spring
Yea, He is Marshall, he is Marshall

If you fall down in the pit, he’ll pick you up
He’ll support your band even if they suck
He likes the Misfits but he also likes Bread
He’s got a lotta curly hairs up on his head

He’s Marshall, Marshall – The Friendliest Punk in Town (x2)

Oi! Oi! Oi!
Rock on
Track Name: Give A Little Love
Give A Little Love

Yea, haha, you know what I’m sayin’
It’s just one of them days, you know what I’m sayin’
One of them nice sunny days
You just wanna go to the park
You know what I’m sayin’, lick on an ice cream cone or sumpin’
Snack on a Mr. Goodbar
You know, real nice day

Stevie D Verse:
Wake up and the sun is in my face like BLOOW!
Wanna give the world some lovin’ and I think I’ll do it NOW!
It’s such a beautiful day, I think I’ll jump up on the roundabout
Spin as fast as I can in circles til I puke my frankenberries out
Give a shout out to my people in Pop’s ice cream shop
See some preppies in the corner wearin’ Birkenstocks – Yo Brobocops!
Greet everyone I see wit a Wuddup homie, good to see ya
How’s ya doodle hangin’? Oh yo, sorry bout ya diarrhea
Doodywater, that’s disgustin! Your colon’s bustin’?
Call an ambulance, tell ‘em pick up ya people and change ya poopy pants
Oh! there my Botz be, Perm, Sam, & Chachi
Scott Baio – what the fuck you doin’ hangin’ wit deez gaybos?
You were on Happy Days, I was on meth – Coinkydink!
Gimme a hug, Perm’s got drugs, Moe’s got the drinky drinks!
I’m so happy I could fuck the sky! Like Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da

Have a little, Let a little, kiss a cripple, give a little love – (Oh! Come on now)
Rub a little, hug a little, tweak a nipple, get a little love – (Gyeah! Come on now)
Bear a little, care a little, share a pickle, give a little love – (Oh! Damn right!)
Wiggle wiggle, giggle shmiggle, peanut brittle, get a little -
Da da da da da da da da da da da

Big Perm Verse:
Hey what’s happenin’? I hope ya feel the way I do
Like ya got right out of school, like ya just freed Haru
No one’s gonna get me down, No one’s gonna make me frown
Everyone I walk past give me high 5’s and daps
Give me Pabst when I wanna drink it, Camel Filters when I’m feenin’
Fresh cubes when I’m gleamin’, hookers when I’m Charlie Sheenin’
Who loves Orange Soda? I do like Kel and Keenan
Who hates behavin’ good? I do like imps and demons
Come one, come all, get like me and be happy
Get loose, don’t act like your energy is backseat
Hark! Who goes there? It’s Perm and I’m feelin’ great
Just like ya easy like goin’ downhill on roller skates
Found a genie lamp, rubbed it hard as I could
Now there’s trees in the hood cause I wish them niggas wood
So what’cha gonna do when the 5 roll by
Like da da da da da da da da da da

Chorus: (x2)

Chorus into ridiculousness:
Track Name: Jesus Gave Me Water (But What I Wanted Was A PBR)
Jesus Gave Me Water (But What I Wanted Was A PBR)

Jesus Gave Me Water (x3)
But what I wanted was a PBR
Jesus Gave Me Water (x3)
But it was not PBR

Well Jesus came down from Galilee, saw me chillin’ wit a dry ass throat
He said “Stevie D – tell me how do you be?” I said “I’m chillin’ wit a dry ass throat”
Well, he looked at me with a holy kinda scowl and then he told me this
He said “I’ll give you some water and I know that’s not your order but PBR tastes like piss”
I said 'scuse me


Well Jesus looked at me and he told me “yo only lepers drink PBR”
I said, “well call me a leper. I don’t jooks wit Dr. Pepper or no moonshine from a jar”
He said “I guess I’ll go on a beer run – can you throw me a ten – I’m a little short”
I said “it’s PBR not caviar, yo here’s a five and bring me back some Newports”
Yo! I said


Well I waited 40 days and for 40 nights for Jesus and my PBR
I’m chillin’ in Jerusalem, the store is in Damascus – I ain't think that it was that far
And then Perm called me, told me 39 days ago he ran into Jesus
He said they drank some PBR and smoked a pack of Newports and then he turned his Zips into Adidas
Oh! I said

Track Name: Stank Ass Rappas (Feat. Sarah G)
Stank Ass Rappas

Sarah G Chorus:
Big Perm & Stevie
Stank ass rappas all up in their cheese
Whatever happened to the real MC’s
Stevie step up please – (No doubt. Yo!)

Gimme the mic, It’s my turn to be
Illest MC, yo it’s absurd to me
How you stank ass rappas ain’t heard of me
Stevie D flush rappas like turds and pee
Stay droppin’ shit since the 2G3
Rhymes stay sweeter than a Ju Ju Bee
Get back, love rap like Spoonie Gee,
Rappers hatin’, perpetratin’, tryin’ to be me
Stevie DVD hip hop since Planet Rock
Fuck ya ringtone pop, I’m a juggernaut
Spittin’ hot fire, you can’t even make ya oven hot
Shockin’ hip hop, listen close, hear the jaws drop
Stay real while ya try to make the club hop
Bigger than a sandwich in the hands of the Chubb Rock
You make fun pop, goodie goodie gumdrop
I wreck shop while you watch from the parkin’ lot
Don’t stop Stevie D keep killin’ em
Crowd too hype, got em pumped like a riddelin
Can’t touch my lyrics with 10 fingers feelin’ em
Rhymes, like a clutz with 10 cups, spillin’ em
Shut it down when we got the crowds fillin’ in
Suckas shakin’ from the fear that I instill in them
Fuckin’ shake the buildin’ in, Noone’s fuckin’ iller than
Illbotz rock, leave ya black eyed like will and them

Sarah G Chorus:
Big Perm & Stevie
Stank ass rappas all up in their cheese
Whatever happened to the real MC’s
Stevie step up please – (No doubt. Yo!)

Gimme the stage, it’s my place to own
Ain’t got a lighter than raise the phone
Illbotz top guns, you in the danger zone
Crew lookin’ smaller than a gang of gnomes
Yo! Hands in the air like they made of foam
Tght like a dress on Catherine Zeta Jones
Can’t feel the love, you can hate alone
Go moan, ain’t goin’ home, til the speakerbox blown
Yo what you gonna do when we kill you loudly?
Stick around, watch the crowd get rowdy
Stevie D, bad boy like Mike Lowry
Better in every measure, fresher, don’t doubt me
Claim ya wild but ya style ain’t wowed me
Can’t make it rain if the sky ain’t cloudy
Oh boy howdy, Apple pan dowdy
I’ll say it proudly, this game is about me
I double L still fresh off the meat rack
Called 5’s but ya can’t get ya seat back
I’ve gone the distance to get here, your feet lack
Ability to walk in my shoes, yo you need that
Got the love of the real, fuck ya feedback
Got about as much cred as some Creed crap
Go eat sack, Poe Mack brought the beat back
Hip Hop flows in my veins, bitch I bleed rap

Sarah G Refrain:
And admit defeat
Keep ya stank mouth shut or they’ll fill yo gut full of sweet sack meat (x3)

Sarah G Chorus:
Big Perm & Stevie
Stank ass rappas all up in their cheese
Whatever happened to the real MC’s
Stevie step up please - (No doubt. Yo!)
Track Name: My Crown (Feat. Poe Mack)
My Crown (Feat. Poe Mack)

Yea! Stevie D and Poe Mack
You know you done fucked up now right
You know you done fucked up
You done put two of Roanoke’s best MC’s in the same muthafuckin’ place at the same muthafuckin’ time
Wearin’ the same muthafuckin’ shirt
Drinkin’ the same muthafuckin’ Nehi Grape
Shit, motherfucker. This is a song!!!!

Poe Mack Verse:

Fellas throw ya hands up
Ladies pull ya pants down
Ain’t nobody takin’ my kingdom, yo this is my crown
It fits my head perfect, got my name engraved in it
This ain’t no one size fits all crown, yo this is fitted

Stevie D Verse:
Hey yo I see these rappers hatin’ so blatant – I think they waitin’
For my crown to be taken – but they’re mistaken – I ain’t takin’
Off shit muthafucka – gobble dick muthafucka
I show you fists like at the end of my pick you muthafucka
Just kiddin’ and bullshittin’ – yo it’s Stevie D the sweetheart
Carry in ya momma’s groceries and hug a retard
Streetsmart, love organic food cause I eat smart
Now let me segue on to the next part like I’m Paul Blart
I started when I was twelve – recordin’ dirty songs on tape with the door shut
Kids threw ‘em out the window like cigarette butts
Took a couple years yo and perfected my sixteens
Started Illbotz – the dopest fuckin’ group since Tag Team
Now yall wild out like Nick Cannon when we up on the stage
Cause we all the rage like Zach back with Audioslave
And I’m goin nowhere! I’m in this biznitch for life
Or at least til I’m 31 – oh shit! My birthday’s tonight! Fuck!

Track Name: Not So Hidden Track
In 2012

In 2012, the world as we know it will be completely changed.
The opposite of everything we know will take place
And our biggest fears will come alive.
Armageddon is near.
Are you scared?
I am.
In fact, I just pissed on myself. It stings.
But it’s my destiny to warn the world of what will happen in 2012.

Planet Earth will be renamed Planet Microsoft.
The world currency will be changed from dollar bills and coins to Pop-tarts – Brown Sugar Cinnamon.
All doctors, lawyers, and psychiatrists will be poor.
And the best paying job will be assistant crackwhore.
All vaginas will be called math books
And all boobies will be called mine.
The only two things on TV will be ALF and infomercials for Flobies.
Demons will rise from hell on giant pogo sticks to choke all Mennonites
with slinkies.
Ol’ Dirty Bastard will rise from the dead to steal all of Kanye West’s
And give Big Perm gonorrhea.
And Richard Simmons will become our first gay president in 2012.

Normal people will go out every morning and knock on the doors of
Jehovah’s Witnesses’ homes.
Instead of “Hi, how are you?” people will greet each other with “Lick
my asscrack.”
Girls will not be able to win beauty contests unless they are
Everyone will speak Klingon and people in England will finally brush
their teeth.
And R&B & Country will not suck in 2012.

In 2012, Stevie D will get ass every day!